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You are here: Funny / general
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WAITING FOR VIERI
Posted on 20/11/03 at 07:16 by Samuel Buck It
A deserted internet football chatroom. Two figures, Stu and Simmo sit side by side looking at the floor. Stu is wiry, small, wearing lemon cotton shorts, national health glasses and an outdated Linfield football club shirt. Simmo is gangly with a dirty five o clock shadow. He's got a straggly mullet with ears of corn and bits of straw hanging out of it, a black eye and is wearing tweed jacket, tweed trousers and Wellington boots.
Late evening.


STU
Well, Simmo. We're here again.

SIMMO
To be sure. When was it since? (Pause) 19 and 87 was it?

STU
Fock, I don't know. Was it the year Linfield beat the Glens 4-0 at Windsor with Dessie scoring a hattrick?

SIMMO
(Pause. Thinking) It was the year 'Liberation' was released.

STU
(Raises eyes to heaven. Pause. Wipes back of hand across mouth) Youse taig hoors aren't liberated yet. (pause) heh.

SIMMO

(Reaches in pocket. Takes out half eaten banana sandwich. Offers to Stu) Here. Eat some of this, you cup.



STU

(Looks at sandwich. Looks at monitor. Looks at sandwich again. Takes sandwich. Sniffs sandwich. Takes bite. Tries to spread munched up sandwich over Simmo's face) LARF x INFINITY.

SIMMO
(Wiping munched up food off cheek. Eats munched up food) When's she getting here?

STU
(pause)
Who?

SIMMO
Vieri

STU
(pauses. Looks at watch.) Dunno.

SIMMO
Oh. (sigh)

STU
(sigh)

SIMMO
We'll just wait then?

STU
(stands up. Looks left, into the distance. Walks to front of forum. Walks back to Simmo. Looks right into the distance. Sits down)

SIMMO
(looking hopeful)
Well?

STU
(twiddling thumbs)
No sign.

SIMMO
(sigh)

STU
(sigh)


CURTAIN



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