Right Brainses, I'm going to tell you what's what and what's hot and what's not. And that.
Alpha-Bertically speaking, I'm starting with:
BLUE - Guilty:
Words can't describe this. Headphones, grooves, sun, smiles, muscles, chests. I've listened to this nearly SEVEN times and each time I find something new to love about it. It's the multi-layered production, the delicate arrangements, the insightful lyrics... Oh, before I go further, the little boys Blue have let themselves down slightly by including that old blind duffer Stevie Wonder on one of their tracks, 'Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours'. Their song's great in its own right so they didn't need to include a washed-up eighties palm dancer whose finest moment was sitting on a piano with Paul McCartney and singing about wood and stuff.
Anyway, Guilty is as close to musical manna as Bert's heard this year, so get yer cans out and strut yer stuff.
MELANIE C - Reason.
Melanie C was always my favourite Spice. Not for her the strutting about, shouting and looking like a slut. No, the Scouse Star let her vocals and gymnastics do the talking. And so to her album, Reason, keeps her at the top of the tree, laughing down as Geri, Mel B, Posh and the other one are scruffing about among the roots trying to find their careers.
Melanie is clever, funny and undeniably beautiful. Like a female Robbie Williams. And you can't get a Berter recommendation than that.
Oh, and the albums good too.
FAST FOOD ROCKERS - It's Never Easy Being Cheesy
Right, the closest I'll get to a novelty record. Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a true novelty record in the style of DJ Shadow or Primal Scream and I know they provide serious social commentary on the global diet, but this album is FUN. That's it, just plain FUN.
You'll all probably know their mega hit 'The Fast Food Song' (McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a pizza), yeah, but delve a little deeper and you'll find what music is really about. Fun and pure, pure pleasure.
Get it.
WILL YOUNG - Friday's Child
Okay, before I start, I DID NOT include this cos of the visual similarities. I'm not THAT vain. No it's in solely on the strength of Mr Young's genius. Since the boy won Pop Idol last year he's gone from strength to strength. While faux-rival Gareth Gates (boooo) has wallowed in gutters, Mr Young has hit the stars.
Yes, this album is all that and more. At once mellow, saucy, poppy, thoughtful, emotive, rockin' and melancholic.
My favourite track is 'Love The One You're With' which is apparently a reworking of a song by some old jokers called Stills and Nash. I haven't heard the original, but I'm sure Mr Young has raised it about fifteen levels.
Ace. Ace. Ace.
And last, Bert not least:
WESTLIFE - Turnaround
Yeah, I know it's obvious, but what can I say? These Irish charmers just keep pulling it off! As a fan of Boyzone, I was reluctant to take the plunge and join in the merry mayhem of Westlife but Louis Walsh (Ultimate Genius) has done it again and again and again. Even the fat one who's married to the big-titted babe from Atomic Kitten sounds great on this album. Westlife are totally amazing. I defy anyone to listen to their version of Barry Manilow's classic 'Mandy' and not feel like the sun has taken residence in their heart. Go on, try it. I personally guarantee you'll feel like a god. I know I do.
But wait, there's more. What about 'Hey Whatever'? I never thought we'd find a song to rival Take That's 'Never Forget' but this song takes Barlow's finest moment and pushes it up to eleven!
I can now confirm Westlife ARE the new ABBA. And with that kind of accolade, I think I need a lie down.
Laters, Brainses.
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