Sunday morning for many people I know means a breakfast of Benson & Hedges and Lucozade followed by a slow jog, chasing a spherical object round a field full of dog dirt, whilst shouting obscenities at people. For others, none of which I know, it means a morning of worship, of prayer and song in praise to one they call, amongst other things, The Almighty. Occasionally the two collide.
One such occurrence was a few weeks ago when a vehicle full of the former happened to stop at a set of traffic lights outside a church for the latter. Usually on a Sunday morning the obscenities only last for ninety minutes and start with a whistle, however this morning they commenced early. One of the occupants of the car took it upon himself to let forth a torrent of filth from his dirty mouth, waking the other passengers in the car prematurely from their blissful slumber and no doubt overworking a few pacemakers. "Oi, you, it's too late for you now you old fuckers, you should have gone (to church) years ago, he's not going to let you in to Heaven now you sinning fuckers". Whilst abrasive and uncalled for, this spew of aural bile did raise an issue with me, why are so many people who go to church elderly?
Whilst it's by no means applicable to everyone, the obvious reason is that as one gets older they need something to shield them from the realisation that soon they'll no more than a rotting corpse in the ground. That's not what religion should be about. I'd go in to what it should be about, but I currently haven't got a spare hour or ten. Plus it's so much easier to knock something down, than build it up, and I'm a lethargic writer.
To solve the problem I'd like to propose a solution. Worshipers must be a regular member of a church by the time they're fifty years old, or not at all. Think about it. Fifty years; half a century. That's plenty of time to decide whether Jesus was a prophet, the son of God, or just a liar, and was Mohamhed his successor? Whether Siddhartha Gautama was truly enlightened or Shiva is the mother of all Gods, it's plenty of time. People slate football fans who only support a club in the good times as "glory hunters" and rightly so, well these people are the ultimate glory hunters, in search of divine glory. Church goers such as these are not real "fans" of their god (though the world needs more religious "fans" like a hole in the head), they are only seeking a solution to their own insecurities, and the church should take steps to remedy the problem. After all, we wouldn't want a hypocritical church now, would we? Ushering as many through the door merely to fill up the collection plate. Imagine that.
Churchgoers attending for their own personal pleasure, and a church letting them in, primarily for the money they provide? Heavens above, if that's correct, to hell with them all.
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