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| says bert to himself |
| Posted on 17/11/03 at 04:53 by krapp |
Says Bert to himself: "I have an idear
(He was saying this to himself because (well fill in the blanks yourselves))
I'll go on the forum and randomly sneer.
I'll rant and I'll rave (not that type of raving, Brains. Delgadoes is where it's at.)
I'll act like a king.
I'll show off my pectrils and my ding-a-ling (44inches at full speed, FACT).
I'll type stuff as MARTIN, that'll be ACE
I'll think about posting a pic of my face (yes cats, you're in for a treat THERE.)
They won't know what's hit 'em, they'll think I'm a god.
I might even get with a female-type bod. (yeah, I know)
For where else can Bertram impart all his insight?
A beacon of knowledge, lighting the half-night.
They'll say that I'm fussy and picky and choosy
I'll play all my cards right and go down on Loosy (yeah yeah. Give me a break, Daddio)
If all goes to plan and she likes my demeanour;
I'll get her to suck my incredible weiner. (heh)
It's going to happen one of these days
I've had quite enough of the Anglian gays (or Anglican, whichever you like better)
If Loosy don't like it, there's always Christina
I'll push all her buttons, like a concertina.
She's foxy and sexy (have you SEEN her gallery pic?) mad for the bucking.
She's into the Irish, she's ripe for the plucking.
But if she should blow-out (chance'd be a fine thing) your strong doughty Bert
There's always Mihaela, the crazed Euro-flirt (that's how desperate it's getting. FACTOID)
She's mental and barmy, she's all that I ant
But oh what I'd give to fondle her cant.
So yes there's my plan, unfailing I'd say
I'm Bertram by night and John-John by day."
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