This isn't a recipe, brainses, it's a method. Just do as yer told and everything will be dandy.
Ingredients
(serves one - if yer cooking for more than that, it shouldn't take a fuckin' genius to multiply the quantities)
A couple of big spuds (well, duh)
Oil (preferably peanut or sesame oil, NOT fuckin' olive oil, you gullible bastard)
Rock salt
Black pepper
Whatever you feel like having as a filling
Method
1 Turn the oven on and get it heated up as high as it'll go. Aga users can just fuck off now.
2 Get yer spuds and spike them all over with a long-pronged fork. Get down as deep as you can.
3 Take a saucer, pour a wee bit of oil into it.
4 Sprinkle salt and pepper into the oil.
5 Take the spuds and roll them about in the oil till they're completely covered.
6 Check if the oven's heated up fully yet. If it's not, WAIT TILL IT IS.
7 I'm SERIOUS. It has to be hotter than Satan's ringpiece.
8 Ready? Are you SURE?
9 Bung the spuds in the oven and fuck off and watch Countdown.
10 After about five minutes, or approximately two number rounds, go back into the kitchen, turn the oven down to about 160C, and OPEN THE OVEN DOOR. Let all that hot air out.
11 Look at the skins of yer spuds. See how they're shrivelling and cracking? This is GOOD.
12 Close the oven up again, and let them cook for, like, two hours.
13 Serve with whatever the fuck you like and bate them inta ye. Fluffy on the inside, crispy on the outside. Like Kate Thornton.
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