Get a decent lump of monkfish, a lock of mussels and a load of prawns.
Don't bother your fuckin' hole if you can't get proper, whole shell-on
prawns with their heads. Make double sure they aren't fuckin' cooked or
frozen or anything else fuckin' stupid. And get fresh mussels, no shite
out of packets.
Get two big pots, one right big one, one fairly big one. Horse boiling
water into the fairly big one, and keep it simmering. Throw in salt, a
bit of chopped onion, celery, carrot, bay leaf, and then tear the
fuckin' heads and shells off the prawns, and fuck them in. The shells
and heads, not the prawns. If you threw the prawns in, then you're a
spastic. If you're not a spastic, let that simmer away. Put a bit more
salt in, because you didn't put in enough earlier on, you cunt.
Into the other big pot goes a generous spaff of olive oil, and heat
under it. Throw in a finely chopped onion, and soften. Finely chop a
clove of garlic, and fuck that in.
Fuck half a dozen nice plum tomatoes in a pot, and pout boiling hot
water down on top of the cunts. Leave them for a while, then drain, and
skin them. Chop into smallish chunks, and fuck in on top of the onions
and garlic, turn up the heat a bit, stir the bloody thing.
If you have any white wine left from earlier, throw in a glass of it
into the onions and tomatoes, after a while, let it boil for a bit.
Get a sieve, or your bird's tights. Don't use your own socks or the oil
filter out of the car. Pour a good load of the stock from the fairly big
pan through the sieve or tights into the tomatoes and onions in the big
pan and bring to the boil. Make sure to pour in enough. Don't get any
heads or shells or shit in it.
Put a good handful of rice per person into the stock and tomatoes, and
stir it up Put in black pepper, and a spoon of paprika.
Let the rice cook for about eight minutes or so. At this stage, the
stock should be getting soaked up, and you'll be looking at all the
fish, wondering what the fuck to do with it.
Chop the monkfish into lump-sized lumps, and fuck in, and stir.
Two minutes later, fuck in the prawns, and stir.
A minute later, fuck in the mussels, still in their shells, that you
cleaned earlier, using your common fucking sense.
Chop a heap of coriander, and chuck it in, stir, turn off the heat, and
pour a heap of stew into a bowl for wach person, and give them a bit of
bread, no fuckin' Hovis, proper bread.
|
|