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| Another ten minutes - K.I.S.S.I.N.G |
| Posted on 01/07/05 at 10:20 by NGONGE |
I come from a big family. Both my parents come from big families. My grandparents come from big families. My children, if I can help it, will come from a big family. Big families have their advantages. If youre the eldest child, you have the luxury of bullying and ordering around an infinite number of siblings. If youre the youngest, that same number of siblings fawn upon you and spoil you. If youre a middle child, you can learn from the experience of those before you and pass on wisdom to those below you. Plus, you hardly ever get in trouble - either the young ones did it or the old ones!
I was a middle child. The life of a middle child is the best, greatest and most carefree of the lives of any creatures on earth! Parents seldom pay too much attention to middle children. Some parents believe that if you set the eldest child straight, the rest will follow without the need to spend the same time and energy on setting them (the other children) straight! I was not set straight (not often anyway). They also believe that the youngest children should never be neglected. I was not the youngest.
The major problem with being a middle child though is that amongst your siblings, you have no room for expressing yourself and developing your own personality (free from their interference). When I was four, I had a friend called Leila. Leila was a sweet young girl. She was pretty and fun to play with. Leila lived next door. I spent most of my time next door. Nobody paid too much attention to my friendship with Leila (she too was a middle child). One day, my eldest sister (who was a child herself at the time) made a passing comment about Leila and me! She was trying to tease me! The rest of my big family, including my own treacherous parents, joined in. For weeks afterwards, all I heard were songs and jokes about me, Leila, and a tree! A couple of months later, I cut off all diplomatic relations with Leila and her tree. I also, never knowingly, ever spoke to any girl in the presence of any member of my large family.
One day, when I was eighteen years old, I was sitting in the living room with my parents and the rest of my big family, when the phone started to ring! One of my sisters answered it. She looked shocked as she nodded her head and told the person on the other end that I was in! I innocently took the phone of her hand thinking that the call was from one of my friends. It wasnt. I heard a girls voice on the other end. She was hesitant and nervous! It was Leila!
In the years after my fifth birthday, and after dumping Leila, she had become good friends with one of my sisters. She always visited the house and I always avoided her. Its not that I didnt like Leila, on the contrary, with each passing year, I liked Leila more and more. What I didnt like was her damn tree. My parents always had a knowing smile on their faces whenever Leila came to visit and I happened to be in the room! My siblings were more daring and more embarrassing. They would always remind us of the days when we were friends and that annoying mythical tree.
On the day when Leila phoned me (and not my sister), I noticed the same smiles from my parents and received the same snide remarks from my siblings. Leila told me that she had heard that I was accepted in a far away university and that I was going to move away from home! My mind was racing as I listened to her! Could it be that she silently loved me all this time and now that I was moving away, she decided to declare her undying love and ask me to stay? I panicked! Leila was nice and if Leila asked me to stay, I probably would have stayed. But, my large family were all there, listening to my phone conversation and smiling. I knew it was a matter of minutes before they all broke into a chorus of K.I.S.S.I.N.G!
In my panic, I didnt hear what Leila was saying to me and only heard the words Im coming with you . I instinctively told her that she does not have to do that. She sounded confused and asked me why not. I told her that I wasnt worth leaving home and family to be with! At this point, even my never humours grandmother started to titter. It seems that all my family knew that Leila was accepted into the same university as me. Leila could have been a total cow when she answered my presumptuous assumptions. But, luckily she was not. She just told me that we were going to the same place and that though she thought I was nice, she didnt plan her future around where I would or would not be. She said it in such a nice way that even though this was a plain rejection it only made me fall in love with Leila (all over again).
The conversation was nearing its end, we agreed to speak again and arrange all the details, exchange addresses in the new town and meet up on our first day at university. Now it was time to put the receiver down and face the music. From the corner of my eye, I could see my father shift in his seat and face me, I could see my mother put her book down and badly attempt to avoid my gaze and I could see how bright the teeth of all my brothers and sisters were. As I put the phone down and ran out of the room shouting that I need the toilet, I heard them all shout K.I.S.S.I.N.G!
The next day, I avoided the subject of University and moving away and they pretended to have forgotten about it all. That afternoon, I was sitting in the living room on my own when my grandmother came in. She sat down and started staring at me. I ignored her and pretended to be lost in the TV program I was watching. She chuckled to herself and told me to stop acting. I told her that there was no reason for me to act. She didnt waste time. Instead she blurted out the question how much do you like Leila?
I panicked! She caught me by surprise and I had no ready-made answer to such a question (even I didnt know how much I liked Leila). I grunted. She asked me if the cat had got my tongue. I saw an opportunity for escape and used all my critical thinking skills to disprove the premise that a cat could get anyones tongue. She listened patiently and then repeated her original question! There was no getting away from this old lady. I had to tell the truth. I did.
My grandmother was a wise old lady. She believed that old people have to have an answer for any questions asked of them (and a few that were not asked). Some of her answers were pure fantasy. Some were the height of wisdom and most were just waffle. That day, she decided to answer all my questions, even though I didnt ask her a single one! She began by saying you might well ask, and many young people do, would things work out between you and Leila? She then went on to answer her own question!
Young children develop Milk Teeth, when a child has a full set of milk teeth, that child goes to flash them at anyone that would care to notice. Hell proudly show them to his parents, teachers and friends. The child believes that nothing in the world is better than his Milk Teeth! When a child starts losing his/ her Milk Teeth, the child also starts losing faith in the world. He/She start feeling ugly. They think the world will end. They see no point in living. They start to change their mind about teeth and view them as useless! But then they start growing real and permanent teeth! They learn that Milk Teeth were only temporary and that they were there to help fix the jaw and gums and prepare them for straighter and more beautiful permanent teeth! My grandmother said that some people keep their Milk Teeth for a very long time and mistake them for the real thing. She said that when those people lose their Milk Teeth their disappointment is bigger than the average person that loses his/her milk teeth in the usual short period of time. Thats why, she said, the tooth fairy compensates some of these people.
She then went on to tell me that I should ask Leila out and that if things didnt work out, then it was only a case of losing ones milk teeth! My grandmother lost all of her teeth (including my grandfather). This is why she spent the rest of her life making up moral tales that always involved teeth. She never trusted people that didnt take care of their teeth. She always said that a day that begins with a good tooth brushing session is bound to turn out to be a great day (if it didnt, the tooth brushing was not to blame - even if it made you late). My grandmother liked Leila because Leila had a beautiful smile and her teeth were whiter than white.
After that little lecture from my grandmother, I didnt mind it when the rest of my family teased me about Leila. Even the K.I.S.S.I.N.G didnt matter anymore. Because I knew that regardless of how things turned out between me and Leila, at least we both would have taken great care of our teeth.
My grandmother finished her lecture, as she always did, with an envious curse: a plaque on both your mouths.
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