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| Another ten minutes - Lies |
| Posted on 14/06/05 at 06:30 by NGONGE |
When youre young you tell yourself so many lies that they eventually become facts with the repetition. Girls with tiny ears are easier to chat up than medium-eared or big-eared girls! Parents, governments and schools pick on you out of jealousy! Lions can be tamed if youre quick enough to get them in a headlock before they bounce on you! Obviously with the lion bit, one will have to keep them in that headlock for quite a time before they finally submit the length of time depends on the lions will really.
The list of lies is endless. As you grow up though, you start shedding these lies as fast as a bald man sheds hair! Still, there are some lies that are very hard to dislodge from ones mind. Some, even though blatantly obvious, are so fascinatingly ingenious that you refuse to admit theyre lies. One such lie was told to me by a school friend when I was eleven years of age. It concerned King Arthurs sword and how that when he took it out of that rock (or was it a stone) it wasnt really that he was a chosen one or anything. Apparently, the reason all those other guys could not take the sword out was because they did no have the correct pin number Arthur used his Barclays card!
Another great lie of my youth was the one about curly hair! Not ordinary curly hair, Michael Jackson curly hair! Back then, most of my school friends used to pour Coca-Cola on their heads to make their hair curly. When the Coke dried up, it kept the curls in place. Everyone swore that Michael Jackson used to use that exact trick on his own hair!
My life, like the lives of all young people, was one big lie. Even when I grew up and became an adult, that too was a lie! It was a gradual lie of course. It started with people telling me that I was sixteen years old and that I should start acting my age! The sixteen became eighteen, the eighteen became twenty-one and people were still telling me to act my age. Not once during all that time did I know how one was supposed to act when they were sixteen, eighteen or twenty-one! Ok I did, but only when looking backwards; at eighteen I was telling all those sixteen year olds to act their age.
This week, the lies of my youth caught up with me. I was watching the news with my wife the other day. My wife is ten years younger than me. Her childhood was all about Ninja Turtles (how silly), Power Rangers (how dull) and Take That (how sickening)! The news headlines had an item about Michael Jackson (again), Mike Tyson and Bob Geldof! She started asking me questions about each and every one of them. I told her that Michael Jackson was one of the greatest singers ever. She said that he was not great anymore! I told her that Mike Tyson was the fiercest fighter ever. She said that he was not fierce anymore! She asked about Geldof but I knew she only wanted to hear my opinion and then say something to put it down, so I did not reply. She said that at least Geldof was the same as he always was. I disagreed! Five minutes earlier, I probably would have agreed with that statement. Five minutes earlier, that statement would have probably come out of my own mouth. But, that was five minutes earlier. This was now and this Ninja Turtle loving woman was trying to challenge my knowledge of the icons of my youth! She noticed the look in my face and had a silent giggle. I ignored her. She was still smiling as she told me that I was being unreasonable and that I should not get defensive over suspect singers, washed up boxers and Geldof! Something deep inside told me that I wasnt acting my age as I blurted out the words yeah well, you know nothing about these guys so why dont you stick to talking about your Power Rangers and Michael Bolton?
I used to think that my youth was great. I thought Michael and Mike were great. I thought Liverpools European cup glories were great. I even thought Geldof was great. Now Michael has become a disgrace, Mike keeps getting knocked out and Geldof has become a politician! Even Liverpool is saying this latest cup win is the greatest in its history! Life is really one big lie and unless youre inspector gadget I wouldnt recommend that you ever try getting a lion in a headlock. Whats more, Im married to a big-eared woman.
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