| Pasta Sauce |
| Posted on 16/09/04 at 06:18 by bluestu |
Get a pan. A big fuckin' pan - the kinda thing that Jerry would hit Tom in his fuckin' whiskery face with.
HEAT IT like you were going to a face melting party and were half an hour late.
Stick in some extra virgin olive oil, which is fuckin' ACE if you're an extra virgin like me. And thinly slice a couple of cloves of garlic - like how Paulie does in goodfellas, you fuckin' mook. Then brown yer onions. I'm not gonna give you fuckin' quantities - you know how much to cook - it's you that's doing the cooking after all, you dull hoor.
Finely slice some celery and stick it in when the onions go as brown as Holi's ceiling when goldenballs is in town. Stick in a few sliced peppers now an all.
Slice up a lock of tomatoes. A WHOLE lock, and fuck them in an all with salt, pepper, basil and parsley. Keep stirring and simmer the whole thing until it's boiling into the consistency of runny shite - then fuck in a Bay leaf an all an more pepper and fresh parsley.
That should do it, pretty much.
One other tip - as the sauce is simmering - boil a whole lock of wee babby spuds - ideally they should be peeled. When they're done, drain the hoors and cover them in yer "pasta" sauce and cook for a while so the spuds absorb the sauce. It's way better than pasta as an accompaniment.
You hooring fuckbags.
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